Subtle approach in fostering relationships

Subtle approach in fostering relationships

All human beings are good. There is no such thing as a bad person. This is a universal truth. The Tamil language was the first in the world to realize this greatness. The Sangam literary line "Every place is ours, Everbody is our relatives" is a saying born out of this pride in realizing the Tamil language.

When everyone is relative, it means that no one has enemies, foes, adversaries. That is the truth too. But in practice who is without enemies, foes, adversaries? There was also someone who betrayed Jesus, who taught the whole world about love. There was also someone who shot and killed Gandhiji who fought in a non-violent way. The case was also initiated against Vallalar who insisted on love for eveything.

Humans are all relationships. None of them are good people, not bad people. All are human beings. At the same time it is the emotions that people have that identify them as good and bad. Humans can only be identified as human beings if the feelings they have become good feelings and cannot be classified as good or bad.

Love, friendship, romance, affection, kindness, compassion, care, warmth are all emotions that cause good results. All the causes of evil effects like anger, hatred, irritability, hostility, resistance are also made up of emotions. We evolve as human beings according to the feeling we are going to develop. From this point of view it is in our hands whether we are good or bad. This is what Sangathamil points out as "The good and bad are not given by others".

Relationships can become hostile, friendships can become hostile, and romantic situations become divisions arise from goodwill. The reason for all this is the mental feelings of the respective time. Mental feelings are not always the same. It is like the changing seasons and changing day and night. The same anger that existed yesterday cannot be said to exist today. There are plenty of opportunities for extreme mental feelings to subside. Sangathamil also refers to this as "Pleasure and pain do not come from others".

Those who are well versed in human emontions and feelings alos face difficulties in dealing with relationships. That means there are still some elements to developing relationships. The first of which is to value each individual. Sangathamil says this beautifully in the course of saying, "There is no such thing as astonishing mature and despising immature."

It means that if we respect each individual we will not unnecessarily interfere within his or her personal boundaries. Whether it is one's life partner, children born, or close relationships, each is an individual who must be respected individually. They have rights and freedoms. We can never interfere in them.

The place where we argue that one's personal likes and dislikes are right or wrong is very subtle. We need to point them out with the most polite terms in the situations in which we need to point them out. The words we use in times like that determine relationships and hatred. One word mutation is enough to make a relationship hostile, to make friends hostile, to divide unity. Properly absorbing emotions and touching words is essential for the development of relationships. Thiruvalluvar would point out that it is one of the best virtues of life, "Expressing kind words with happy face is virtue, moral and ethic."

We need to be careful about which words we use and when we say that we respect and love someone. Do not act as if you do not have time to listen to him. When someone opens the mind with words we should always take the time to listen to those words.

Our words should be as comforting and warm as when someone says sad words.

The best gift we can give to relationships is the feeling that we feel their grief as our own grief. That is what relationships and friendships expect of us. We must always be ready to give that gift. We should never starve in embracing and often giving them a support. You can now see the thousand meanings in Thiruvalluvar's saying, “Kind words are virtue that is better than donating and giving.”

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